Why is it so hard to find somebody we like
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yalor, aiya, Ju Kor kor, u still young mah, scare no wife meh?? still got those buybride agencies to help you if you are really desperate, we young gals and not you who are suppose to be more worry about getting a nice husband or bf, because we age faster mah, you like this age only, so desperate liao,,,...aiya, if cannot or really cannot find gal, date me lor, no harm trying right.
just remember to bring yr wallet
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Originally posted by Julian.khor:
How to find? All my schoolmate already attach. Nowaday, everybody busy working, no social life. I want to go out and meet girls but where to meet? I go to work then after that go home eat and then sleep. Next day same thing. Different day, same shit.
Where to meet girls? Good and nice girls? Go to church? I don't want to change religion.
Huh?? Go nightspots, join group, disco, drink, party, sure can find a nice good gal one, want to have gal, must spend abit more mah, there are also lots of innocent gals once a while coming to nightspot with friends looking for bfs or some good guys.You everyday stay at home, look at computer, yr mother, grandmother, how to get girl?? you think girl like me can go around and knock at each house door looking for guy like you ar??
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Originally posted by Jiani:
Do you know why? You lack character. Let say you failed an exam.who would you blame?
Yes I know you are so "full of character", you judge people as if you are so perfect. You can never impress everybody unless you are god. Somebody may like you, somebody may not like you. -
TS,
U are in the grips of this psychological affliction - comparison which is woefully delibitatiing to onself and obviously it would surface as a habit and another or the other is bound to be compared. It is disrespectful of onself and as such how to respect another?
Perhaps understanding yourself and unlearning the conditioning, the programming INSIDE u will make life and living easier.
For now, it is the lack of love of yourself. Holding a book is not reading a book. Beware the neurosis of such folly.
The ego is good at the market place, at a business - use it but dont bring it ''home''
In other words, have a POROUS ego (self) and just watch the inner transformation.
Happiness is natural state within all of us and success is a by-product of that state of being.
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Originally posted by ShrodingersCat:
I reckon you are trying too hard. You are just 26 ma... why so gan cheong about meeting the right one? Just focus on leading a fulfilling life, and somewhere along the way you will meet someone who shares same interests and values as you - isn't that a lot more natural than trying so hard to find someone u like who likes you back?
Mutual attraction is a gift. It isn't something you study hard for and confirmed guarantee get results.
Mutual attraction is a gift. Hmm..good point. Also have to bring in timing as well. I have to be available. She must be available too. ANd we both happen to meet. What is the chance of that?
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Originally posted by angel7030:
Huh?? Go nightspots, join group, disco, drink, party, sure can find a nice good gal one, want to have gal, must spend abit more mah, there are also lots of innocent gals once a while coming to nightspot with friends looking for bfs or some good guys.You everyday stay at home, look at computer, yr mother, grandmother, how to get girl?? you think girl like me can go around and knock at each house door looking for guy like you ar??
Date you? Can also. But won't your lover jealous and try to kill me with parang?
I oso hear you got a lot of secret admirer here. Won't they jealous and try to kill me too?
Yes I want to go out but wher? Nightspot bad place to know people. Firstly, nobody invite me there. Second, even if I go there, hard to socialise, so noisy, the music, canot hear wat people talking. Thirdly, would I dare to go to some girl and ask for her phone number? Scary. You may say I got no guts but this is very scary business. Some people get killed in nightspot because of this. Love rivalry.
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Originally posted by Fugazzi:
TS,
U are in the grips of this psychological affliction - comparison which is woefully delibitatiing to onself and obviously it would surface as a habit and another or the other is bound to be compared. It is disrespectful of onself and as such how to respect another?
Perhaps understanding yourself and unlearning the conditioning, the programming INSIDE u will make life and living easier.
For now, it is the lack of love of yourself. Holding a book is not reading a book. Beware the neurosis of such folly.
The ego is good at the market place, at a business - use it but dont bring it ''home''
In other words, have a POROUS ego (self) and just watch the inner transformation.
Happiness is natural state within all of us and success is a by-product of that state of being.
Everybody got ego, even gal got ego. Many many years ago, I dated a gal with very big ego. She so proud, don't want to lose. Always like to blame me if I forgot direction or I forgot to carry her purse. She always think she is right and I am wrong.Ego is a fact of life, we canot avoid ego, everybody got ego, some more, some less. We only have to learn to control ego.
I don't think ego is bad or disrespectful to oneself. Sometime ego help me, to defend myself and stop other people from walking all over me. Ego is good. We canot sit down there and let people hurl us wif insult after insult, ego is a good defensive mechanism for our self esteem. Ego is not denial, if use properly. Ego wif wisdom help us to see thru other people intentions. When we know somebody want to attack our self esteem for the sake of making us feel bad abotu ourself, ego self defensive mechanism come into play to help us become better person and give people message we are not pushover.
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Originally posted by Julian.khor:
Yes I know you are so "full of character", you judge people as if you are so perfect. You can never impress everybody unless you are god. Somebody may like you, somebody may not like you.
I am not perfect. Since I am still studying, I strive to be perfect. Even if I am 26, I will still strive to be perfect, because I want to be successful in life. Then, I can get anything I want as long as I work hard. -
anyway, why don't you go and study in JC? even if your poor, goverment will support you. and why didn't your parents start planning everything when you are born? like starting a bank account for you, or buying uni insurance? when did your parents get into debt? and why don't you start educating yourself since your just 26? support yourself into ploy and uni. then, sg girls will feel that they can trust their life in you. uni degree means a big jump in pay.
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Ts,
if you feel that this stance of yours resonates of you and with others and gets you by what can I or anyone for that matter say.
PS Just these that you may have overlooked - i sad comparison is unhealthy. I said use the ego and not be used by it!
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I like girls with personality, mind of their own and STYLE!
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Originally posted by Jiani:
I am not perfect. Since I am still studying, I strive to be perfect. Even if I am 26, I will still strive to be perfect, because I want to be successful in life. Then, I can get anything I want as long as I work hard.You say onli. You haven't come out to work yet - you meet all sort of people. Suddenly you don't understand why some people nasty at you at work even though you try to work hard and nice. Wait lah. If life is as easy as "I work hard, success come by". Then would it not be great, everybody is successful?
Reality not work that way. I am not sound negative to you, I just want to tell you that sometime you judge other people, you think they are dumb and not smart in making decision but soomeday, you mays stumble yourself.
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yeah true. Sometimes hardwork doesnt pay off...
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Originally posted by Jiani:
anyway, why don't you go and study in JC? even if your poor, goverment will support you. and why didn't your parents start planning everything when you are born? like starting a bank account for you, or buying uni insurance? when did your parents get into debt? and why don't you start educating yourself since your just 26? support yourself into ploy and uni. then, sg girls will feel that they can trust their life in you. uni degree means a big jump in pay.
I may, I may. But right now I want to finish a course, I am taking night classes. Debt issue is another matter, I don't want to talk about, it was my parents mistake.
Please, not everybody born with manual how to live your life. Some things we don't know. My parents old fashion, they don't know a lot of things and they didn't finish school. So I didn't exactly suddenly got good academic advice.
Not everybody born wif silver spoon like you. Sometime fate has its way. We may not get the headstart, you have.
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Originally posted by Fugazzi:
Ts,
if you feel that this stance of yours resonates of you and with others and gets you by what can I or anyone for that matter say.
PS Just these that you may have overlooked - i sad comparison is unhealthy. I said use the ego and not be used by it!
Precisely, I use the ego as my shield. Ego is very important in life. Watch the movie "Anger management" by Adam Sandler. This character was so soft because he have no ego, everybody bully him, his self esteem is all time low, his gf very angry at him for being pushover. One day he over-reacted and got himself into trouble. But luck has his way, he got a good therapist who guide him and help him release his anger and build the ego so he won't get exploited by people and he won't outburst again. -
To maintain a fiction is ardous and movies are fiction. That is why they are labelled as movies = an escape from what is true and real. Ego is a fiction. It exists only when when one gives attention to it , in other words one who is very self-conscious. Self-concsious mean one who is anxious of what others think of them, approval-seeking behaviour and
As an aside, any emotion can only be trancended thru understanding, managment is a misnomer, to control is to suppress - what is suppressed will eventually surface.
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Originally posted by Julian.khor:
Mutual attraction is a gift. Hmm..good point. Also have to bring in timing as well. I have to be available. She must be available too. ANd we both happen to meet. What is the chance of that?
Yalor.. which is why instead of worrying too much about it... focus on making your life fulfilling, and making more friends instead of simply finding one special elusive one.
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GO WATCH PORN!
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finding some1 u like is like shopping, except they dun put in the shops or advertise. so like i said - advertise yourself
PUT YOUR CV HERE or NEWSPAPERs
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Originally posted by Fugazzi:
To maintain a fiction is ardous and movies are fiction. That is why they are labelled as movies = an escape from what is true and real. Ego is a fiction. It exists only when when one gives attention to it , in other words one who is very self-conscious. Self-concsious mean one who is anxious of what others think of them, approval-seeking behaviour and
As an aside, any emotion can only be trancended thru understanding, managment is a misnomer, to control is to suppress - what is suppressed will eventually surface.
Ego is not fiction, it is real. Ego can be good but Ego can be bad too. I usethe Good Ego. Ego is not about getting approval from others, ego is the exact opposite. Ego is for one to express self righteousness. Only people who are pushovers and lack self esteem have no ego. -
Originally posted by Julian.khor:
I may, I may. But right now I want to finish a course, I am taking night classes. Debt issue is another matter, I don't want to talk about, it was my parents mistake.
Please, not everybody born with manual how to live your life. Some things we don't know. My parents old fashion, they don't know a lot of things and they didn't finish school. So I didn't exactly suddenly got good academic advice.
Not everybody born wif silver spoon like you. Sometime fate has its way. We may not get the headstart, you have.
my parents not rich, my parents are always planning tons of things for me.
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TS obviously doesn't even appeal to online gals.
This is definitely not about looks or wealth.
Maybe TS should take a good hard look at himself and ask himself if he has anything to offer to his prospective mate. And I don't just mean money.
BTW, you like pretty/popular gals then pretty/popular gals like rich handsome guys. And? Both equally shallow wat, so what's there to complain about?
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Originally posted by Julian.khor:
Dear everybody,
I have a few question:
1) Why the girl I like, always don't like me? But they girl I don't like always give me attention?
I like a certain girl but she avoids me so I believe she rejected me. But then there is this 24 year old girl at office who always want to pester me to go out with her but I am not interested in her because of her character. She like to talk a lot of bad word and profanity. She also known for sleeping with other men. I know some forumer here is going to tell me to go for one night stand. Firstly, I am not interested in her, secondly, she is not attractive to me, thirdly, I don't want to catch STD, fourthly, I got my own ethics.
2) Why everbody have same taste as I?
Whenever I like the girl, there is always 3 guys going after the same girl. I feel so frustrated. She always take the guy who is most aggressive, most rich and most charming. I am not very good at charming because I am bit introvert.
3) Why I never success after 2 dates?
I never ever success after 2 dates. After that the girl will text me sms saying "I am such a sweet, nice and good guy, but we cannot go out again because she is not that keen on me. Bla Bla thank you for the memories".
I have 3 dates and all failure. That was 3 years ago. So hard to find girl friend.
Last week, my friend from Malaysia show me a newspaper cutting saying more men in Malaysia than women. Censor say 100 men to 88 women. I wonder how many 100 Singapore men to ??? Singaporean women???? Must be fewer. Sigh, so hard to find girl friend.
I always have to fight against 3 to 5 guys for one girl's hand. So unfair.
1) Faith. Your love has not cross your path yet.
2) Life is like that. You take first or I take first. Never fair.
3) Dont give up. Only 2 tried. You more more opportunities.
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Originally posted by littlemissbonkers:
TS obviously doesn't even appeal to online gals.
This is definitely not about looks or wealth.
Maybe TS should take a good hard look at himself and ask himself if he has anything to offer to his prospective mate. And I don't just mean money.
BTW, you like pretty/popular gals then pretty/popular gals like rich handsome guys. And? Both equally shallow wat, so what's there to complain about?
Maybe just to you. Hellow Miss Bonkers, you are obviously shallow because you haven't read my thread properly. Please wear another set of spectacles lady before you start pre-judging me. Are you lacking intelligence? I never said anything about me liking pretty/popular girls. I never said I wanted a Ms Universe to be my gf. All I just wanted is for at least some element of physical attraction, is that too much to ask for?In addition to that, character is most important to me. I like a pleasant nice gal who can discuss and work things out with me.
Yes I take a good hard look at myself. What do I have to offer? A lot. I am caring, helpful, a good listener and kind as I have earlier said to another forumer. Again you not paying attention and not read carefully, before you start blurting and accusing.
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Originally posted by Jiani:
my parents not rich, my parents are always planning tons of things for me.
Not everybody fortunate like you and have parents like yours who can plan thing ahead for you.
My parent, I love them a lot but because they are lot highly educated, they didn't plan ahead for me.